CAMPIN’ IN CHICAGO
cont…AND THAT’S ALL THAT, I AM!
cont…Chapter 6
(Page 135)
The cars continued honking. I pushed and pulled. I knocked on the toll-gate arm with
my hands. Nothing. Nada. Some of the cars at the back of the line pulled over to the
other toll-booths. I guess they were worried about being late for Mass. The man behind
me and the one behind him and a few others after that, just kept honking. What could I
do? I put my hands up in the air and shrugged my shoulders. They honked even more.
Animal atheists!
Once more I threw in thirty cents. The gate stayed frozen. I slapped the bloody
woop-woop out of the metal basket like I was slappin’ one of my kids. It wouldn’t budge,
just like one of my kids.
“Come on Chiquita, move your bunch of bananas!” The man behind me called out.
I’d be slappin’ his bloody woop-woop next. “Hable el Englisio? Move el grande assito,
Senora!”
I looked up to the heavens and squinted my eyes. What did the sign above my tollbooth
say? “Madness takes its toll. Please have exact-change.” I rubbed my eyes. Did I
read that right?
“What’s a ‘grand mosquito’, Mom?” Nora asked rolling the car window further down.
“Nora, take those braids out of your mouth, maybe you’ll hear better.” I was
exasperated with her deaf and deafer. Why couldn’t she be more like me, deaf and
dumber.
“Mom? I’m gonna shoot that guy in his pwivates!” Campion was hanging out his
window pretending to be aiming a bazooka at the animal atheist behind me.
“No, Campion, that’s not nice to say,” I scolded. “You don’t say you will shoot
anybody in their pwivates. Mommy will do that.”
